New Movies Friday

For the most part, Hollywood releases movies on Fridays in an effort to maximize the amount that they can make in the first few days where they:

A. Get to keep the largest percentage of the box office due to their contracts with theaters.

and

B. Make as much money as possible before word gets out that the movie is a steaming pile of shit (to this effect, more and more movies aren't even being screened for critics, which should indicate to anyone with a brain cell that these movies aren't any good)

Here are the new releases coming to theaters near you today:

Hot Fuzz - Personally, this is far and away the highlight of the weekend. Hot Fuzz is a buddy cop parody form the creators of Shaun Of The Dead, one of the funniest movies in recent memory. The buzz on this one is great, the trailer is awesome and I will see it as soon as I can.

Fracture - April is a time when a lot of forgettable crap gets sent out to theaters in the hopes that someone will like it. The studios have all but given up on hyping the lesser movies released this time of year in an effort to maximize whatever profits they can turn and this movie is a prime example of this strategy. Fracture has something to do with Anthony Hopkins playing a game of cat and mouse with Ryan Gosling. I think Hannibal is playing a murderer. That's about all I can gather from the trailer and frankly that's all I care to know about the film, since I won't be seeing it any time soon. It's a shame that two of the most talented actors in film today got lumped into a film almost no one will see.

Vacancy - Horror movies make tons of money because they are cheap to make and have a built in audience who rush to see the films the day they come out, thus increasing the profits for the studios. For the most part, these movies are pure CRAP though, and there's a new one every week, so if you do want to see one you'll never be lacking for an opportunity. This one deals with a killer who runs a hotel. In my opinion, if there's no waterfall of blood coming down the stairs or at the very least a room full of water with a fuckin' shark in it (an episode of Gargoyles), I can't be moved to care about a psycho who runs a hotel, unless the movie is actually called Psycho (and no, I do NOT mean the re-make).

In The Land Of Women - Again, this movie hasn't gotten a lot of publicity so I don't know much about it. It seems to be a Garden State knock-off about a young man dealing with a quarter-life crisis by dating a whole bunch of women or something. This one stars Adam "Seth Cohen" Brody and Meg "Back from the foxhole she's been hiding in for the past 3 years" Ryan. It probably could be pretty good, but I'm sure I'll have to wait until it's on DVD to know for sure.


New in Pierre this weekend are Shooter, Disturbia, and Are We Done Yet. Supposedly, Disturbia is pretty good, so I'll go check that out, but Shooter looks too formula for my tastes and I would need to be paid to sit through Are We Done Yet. Remember when Ice Cube was a bad-ass rapper with unquestionable skills and street cred? Remember when he would occasionally do a John Singleton movie about life in the inner city or at a university? Remember when you had to take him seriously because he's "crazy as fuck"? Yeah, me neither. I do remember the guy who turned down all the roles that Tim Allen thought were too "edgy", though.