#130 - Code Name: The Cleaner - Ok, I fast-forwarded through this one, but from what I could see I could tell that it's one of those movies that never should have been made.
#129 - Thr3e - A lame serial killer movie that was marketed to Christian audiences because one of the characters was a missionary at some point... like that wasn't changed at the last second to justify the film's existance.
#128 - Norbit - The worst movie I actually sat through in all of 2007. The story is stupid, the characters are incredibly offensive and not in a smart-ass sort of South Park way, and the acting is atrocious. The fact that this movie actually got made indicates that there still are a lot of idiots in the world. The fact that it nearly made 100 million proves that there are a scary amount of said idiots.
#127 - Alvin And The Chipmunks - A terrible movie, but at least it's not completely racist. Basically, this is a stupid movie aimed at unsophisticated children and they're long-suffering parents. Jason Lee and David Cross each dropped their personal cool levels by 5% for appearing in this movie.
#126 - Epic Movie - If only people would stop paying to see these dumb movies they'd stop making them, or at least they'd start writing them better. Honestly, these movies seem to be written by children.
#125 - Bug - The movie is based on a play. An incredibly lame-ass and irritating play that lasts 90 minutes and seems more like 90 hours.
#124 - Hannibal Rising - Wait, this movie is only 3 removed from The Silence Of The Lambs? Shit, has any franchise disintegrated faster? The Exorcist? Superman, maybe? This movie is ugly and stupid and it's plot actually takes credibility away from plot developments in the other 3 movies! It's called direct-to-DVD, people.
#123 - Rush Hour 3 - Not that I ever cared about the first two, but this one was even worse. Chris Tucker waited like 8 years to make this film... and should have kept waiting.
#122 - Captivity - A new low in the torture horror genre, Captivity is ugly, disgusting and nasty with no redeeming social commentary to speak of.
#121 - The Hills Have Eyes 2 - The sequel to a re-make that isn't a re-make of the original's sequel. You know, no matter what the movie actually is described as, what it ends up being is pure splatter shit. A geek show, plain and simple.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Best Movies Of 2007 - Movies I Have Yet To See
Over the next few weeks, I'm going to post brief reviews and rankings of all the movies I've seen this year. First of all, I'm going to tell you the movies this year that I haven't seen but want to, in order of preference:
Across The Universe
In The Valley Of Elah
The Savages
Persepolis
The Orphanage
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
The Wind That Shakes The Barley
Lust, Caution
La Vie en Rose
Margot At The Wedding
Black Book
Lions For Lambs
Things We Lost In The Fire
The Kite Runner
We Own The Night
Death At A Funeral
Rendition
Away From Her
Resurrecting The Champ
Goya's Ghosts
Lars And The Real Girl
P2
Hitman
The Great Debaters
2 Days In Paris
The Invasion
In the Shadow of the Moon
The Final Season
Sydney White
Illegal Tender
Love in the Time of Cholera
September Dawn
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Across The Universe
In The Valley Of Elah
The Savages
Persepolis
The Orphanage
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
The Wind That Shakes The Barley
Lust, Caution
La Vie en Rose
Margot At The Wedding
Black Book
Lions For Lambs
Things We Lost In The Fire
The Kite Runner
We Own The Night
Death At A Funeral
Rendition
Away From Her
Resurrecting The Champ
Goya's Ghosts
Lars And The Real Girl
P2
Hitman
The Great Debaters
2 Days In Paris
The Invasion
In the Shadow of the Moon
The Final Season
Sydney White
Illegal Tender
Love in the Time of Cholera
September Dawn
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Top 1000 Songs #720-#711
#720 - "How Am I Different" - Aimee Mann - Bachelor No. 2 - The sixth of eight Aimee Mann songs on the countdown, "How Am I Different" is one of her best ballads.
#719 - "Can't Get There From Here" - R.E.M. - Fables Of The Reconstruction - The third of twelve R.E.M. songs on the list, "Can't Get There From Here" was one of the first great pop songs that the band recorded before their breakthrough in the early 90's.
#718 - "Polly" - Nirvana - Nevermind - The third of fifteen Nirvana songs in the top 1000, "Polly" is the band's creepiest song. It's not the first song to place itself in the view of a rapist, but it's the best.
#717 - "All I Wanna Do" - Sheryl Crow - Tuesday Night Music Club - The first of two Sheryl Crow songs on the list, "All I Wanna Do" was the singer's breakthrough hit and one of the greatest debut singles of the 90's.
#716 - "Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing" - Chris Isaak - Forever Blue - The first and only Chris Isaak song in the top 1000, "Baby" is about the 1000th song to steal it's beat from the same song, but it's lifted up by Isaak's excellent voice and brilliant lyrics.
#715 - "Black Sun Morning" - The Screaming Trees - Buzz Factory - The fourth of six Screaming Trees songs on the countdown, "Black Sun Morning" features one of the band's most exciting and up-tempo choruses.
#714 - "Don't Panic" - Coldplay - Parachutes - The third of six Coldplay songs on the list, "Don't Panic" is best known for it's presence during the opening scenes of Garden State.
#713 - "Nothing Compares 2 U" - Sinead O'Connor - I Do Not Want What I Have Not Got - The first and only Sinead song on the list, "Nothing Compares" was a cover of a Prince song and one of the biggest songs of 1990.
#712 - "Fake Plastic Trees" - Radiohead - The Bends - The second of eight Radiohead songs on the countdown, "Fake Plastic Trees" was one of the band's first great songs, moving beyond the commercial success of Pablo Honey and towards the brilliance of OK Computer.
#711 - "Ruff Ryders Anthem" - DMX - It's Dark And Hell Is Hot - The first of two DMX songs in the top 1000, "Ruff Ryders Anthem" features one of the best beats and choruses in all of rap in the 90's.
#719 - "Can't Get There From Here" - R.E.M. - Fables Of The Reconstruction - The third of twelve R.E.M. songs on the list, "Can't Get There From Here" was one of the first great pop songs that the band recorded before their breakthrough in the early 90's.
#718 - "Polly" - Nirvana - Nevermind - The third of fifteen Nirvana songs in the top 1000, "Polly" is the band's creepiest song. It's not the first song to place itself in the view of a rapist, but it's the best.
#717 - "All I Wanna Do" - Sheryl Crow - Tuesday Night Music Club - The first of two Sheryl Crow songs on the list, "All I Wanna Do" was the singer's breakthrough hit and one of the greatest debut singles of the 90's.
#716 - "Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing" - Chris Isaak - Forever Blue - The first and only Chris Isaak song in the top 1000, "Baby" is about the 1000th song to steal it's beat from the same song, but it's lifted up by Isaak's excellent voice and brilliant lyrics.
#715 - "Black Sun Morning" - The Screaming Trees - Buzz Factory - The fourth of six Screaming Trees songs on the countdown, "Black Sun Morning" features one of the band's most exciting and up-tempo choruses.
#714 - "Don't Panic" - Coldplay - Parachutes - The third of six Coldplay songs on the list, "Don't Panic" is best known for it's presence during the opening scenes of Garden State.
#713 - "Nothing Compares 2 U" - Sinead O'Connor - I Do Not Want What I Have Not Got - The first and only Sinead song on the list, "Nothing Compares" was a cover of a Prince song and one of the biggest songs of 1990.
#712 - "Fake Plastic Trees" - Radiohead - The Bends - The second of eight Radiohead songs on the countdown, "Fake Plastic Trees" was one of the band's first great songs, moving beyond the commercial success of Pablo Honey and towards the brilliance of OK Computer.
#711 - "Ruff Ryders Anthem" - DMX - It's Dark And Hell Is Hot - The first of two DMX songs in the top 1000, "Ruff Ryders Anthem" features one of the best beats and choruses in all of rap in the 90's.
Top 1000 Bands #720-#711
720 - Toto - An 80's band that seemed pretty cheesy, but there's a lot more going on in their songs than a casual listen would indicate.
719 - Uncle Tupelo - A legendary roots rock band that never lived up to the hype in my opinion, but they do still have quite a few good songs.
718 - Mando Diao - An indie rock band with an excellent debut album.
717 - Foghat - One of the biggest bands of the 60's, Foghat is a stereotypical classic rock band. A few good hits, but a lot of cheese.
716 - Jeff Healey - A blues rocker who made a big splash in the wake of the Stevie Ray Vaughan, Jeff Healey had a couple of decent-sized hits and a big one with "Angel Eyes".
715 - The Cardinal Sin - A hard rock band from Minneapolis that I caught in Pierre a couple of times. They do a great cover of "Bastards Of Young" and are generally a lot of fun.
714 - Neil Diamond - He's often referred to as the Jewish Elvis, but in my mind he's more like a male Barbara Streisand. It's not that his songs are bad, many are quite good, but the cheese level is enough to knock him down significantly.
713 - Urge Overkill - Coincidentally enough, Urge Overkill's biggest hit was a cover of Neil Diamond's "Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon" from the Pulp Fiction soundtrack.
712 - David Gray - The adult contemporary singer responsible for "Babylon" and 50 other songs that try and fail to measure up to "Babylon".
711 - Uriah Heap - A late 60's classic rock band with a major hippie following, they had a big hit with "Easy Livin'".
719 - Uncle Tupelo - A legendary roots rock band that never lived up to the hype in my opinion, but they do still have quite a few good songs.
718 - Mando Diao - An indie rock band with an excellent debut album.
717 - Foghat - One of the biggest bands of the 60's, Foghat is a stereotypical classic rock band. A few good hits, but a lot of cheese.
716 - Jeff Healey - A blues rocker who made a big splash in the wake of the Stevie Ray Vaughan, Jeff Healey had a couple of decent-sized hits and a big one with "Angel Eyes".
715 - The Cardinal Sin - A hard rock band from Minneapolis that I caught in Pierre a couple of times. They do a great cover of "Bastards Of Young" and are generally a lot of fun.
714 - Neil Diamond - He's often referred to as the Jewish Elvis, but in my mind he's more like a male Barbara Streisand. It's not that his songs are bad, many are quite good, but the cheese level is enough to knock him down significantly.
713 - Urge Overkill - Coincidentally enough, Urge Overkill's biggest hit was a cover of Neil Diamond's "Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon" from the Pulp Fiction soundtrack.
712 - David Gray - The adult contemporary singer responsible for "Babylon" and 50 other songs that try and fail to measure up to "Babylon".
711 - Uriah Heap - A late 60's classic rock band with a major hippie following, they had a big hit with "Easy Livin'".
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Top 1000 Songs #730-#721
#730 - "Guilty" - Gravity Kills - Gravity Kills - The first and only Gravity Kills song on the countdown, this song might not sound familiar, but I assure you that you've heard it before. It was on the X-Games Soundtrack as well as the opening credits of the movie Seven.
#729 - "New York City Cops" - The Strokes - Is This It - The second of three Strokes songs on the list, "New York City Cops" was actually removed from the American version of the album (it was considered poor taste to have a song mocking the NYPD come out shortly after 9/11), but it was one of my favorites on the album.
#728 - "Criminal" - Fiona Apple - Tidal - The first of two Apple songs on the list, "Criminal" was her breakthrough hit and the song that established her as a top female vocalist at only 19.
#727 - "My Back Pages" - Bob Dylan - Another Side Of Bob Dylan - The fourth of fifteen Dylan songs on the list, "My Back Pages" contains the famous line "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now."
#726 - "Wildflowers" - Tom Petty - Wildflowers - The fourth of seventeen Petty songs on the countdown, "Wildflowers" is the title track from his second solo album and one of the best ballads of his career.
#725 - "Volunteers" - Jefferson Airplane - Volunteers - The first of three Airplane songs on the list, "Volunteers" is notable as the best song the band did where Grace Slick did lead on vocals.
#724 - "Gold Digger" - Kanye West - Late Registration - The first of two Kanye songs on the list, "Gold Digger" is the best song off of his second album and was one of the best songs of the year it was released, 2006.
#723 - "Holiday In Cambodia" - The Dead Kennedys - Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables - The second and highest ranking DK song is one of the most intense of all hardcore punk songs from the 80's.
#722 - "In My Head" - Queens Of The Stone Age - Songs For The Deaf - The fourth of sixteen Queens songs in the top 1000, "In My Head" was the second single released off of the band's breakthrough album Songs For The Deaf.
#721 - "I'm Free" - The Soup Dragons - Lovegod - The second of two Soup Dragons songs on the countdown, "I'm Free" is a Brit-pop remix and cover of the obscure Rolling Stones song.
#729 - "New York City Cops" - The Strokes - Is This It - The second of three Strokes songs on the list, "New York City Cops" was actually removed from the American version of the album (it was considered poor taste to have a song mocking the NYPD come out shortly after 9/11), but it was one of my favorites on the album.
#728 - "Criminal" - Fiona Apple - Tidal - The first of two Apple songs on the list, "Criminal" was her breakthrough hit and the song that established her as a top female vocalist at only 19.
#727 - "My Back Pages" - Bob Dylan - Another Side Of Bob Dylan - The fourth of fifteen Dylan songs on the list, "My Back Pages" contains the famous line "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now."
#726 - "Wildflowers" - Tom Petty - Wildflowers - The fourth of seventeen Petty songs on the countdown, "Wildflowers" is the title track from his second solo album and one of the best ballads of his career.
#725 - "Volunteers" - Jefferson Airplane - Volunteers - The first of three Airplane songs on the list, "Volunteers" is notable as the best song the band did where Grace Slick did lead on vocals.
#724 - "Gold Digger" - Kanye West - Late Registration - The first of two Kanye songs on the list, "Gold Digger" is the best song off of his second album and was one of the best songs of the year it was released, 2006.
#723 - "Holiday In Cambodia" - The Dead Kennedys - Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables - The second and highest ranking DK song is one of the most intense of all hardcore punk songs from the 80's.
#722 - "In My Head" - Queens Of The Stone Age - Songs For The Deaf - The fourth of sixteen Queens songs in the top 1000, "In My Head" was the second single released off of the band's breakthrough album Songs For The Deaf.
#721 - "I'm Free" - The Soup Dragons - Lovegod - The second of two Soup Dragons songs on the countdown, "I'm Free" is a Brit-pop remix and cover of the obscure Rolling Stones song.
Top 1000 Bands #730-#721
730 - Vendetta Red - A 21st-century modern rock band with a handful of great songs to their credit.
729 - The Crash Test Dummies - They weren't exactly a one-hit wonder, but they did have one gigantic hit with "MMM (etc.)" that made them seem like the next big thing... until they weren't.
728 - Tonic - One of those mid-90's modern rock bands who had a couple of hits but never distinguished themselves from the other faceless minions of the post-grunge era.
727 - Massive Attack - A techno-themed Brit Pop band that provided the theme song to your favorite TV show.
726 - Cracker - Another face in the crowd 90's band with a couple of great hits, including "Low".
725 - The Pink Spiders - An indie punk band with one really outstanding album to their name.
724 - The Cinematics - Another great indie rock band who made a big splash with their debut album in 2007.
723 - The Darkness - The love them or hate them band of the past few years, The Darkness are straight up glam metal. If you take them seriously... well... don't take them seriously.
722 - Whitney Houston - Her songs are mostly poorly-written crap, but she has the most amazing voice of her generation.
721 - Stealer's Wheel - Gerry Rafferty's one-hit wonder band who hit a home-run with "Stuck In The Middle With You".
729 - The Crash Test Dummies - They weren't exactly a one-hit wonder, but they did have one gigantic hit with "MMM (etc.)" that made them seem like the next big thing... until they weren't.
728 - Tonic - One of those mid-90's modern rock bands who had a couple of hits but never distinguished themselves from the other faceless minions of the post-grunge era.
727 - Massive Attack - A techno-themed Brit Pop band that provided the theme song to your favorite TV show.
726 - Cracker - Another face in the crowd 90's band with a couple of great hits, including "Low".
725 - The Pink Spiders - An indie punk band with one really outstanding album to their name.
724 - The Cinematics - Another great indie rock band who made a big splash with their debut album in 2007.
723 - The Darkness - The love them or hate them band of the past few years, The Darkness are straight up glam metal. If you take them seriously... well... don't take them seriously.
722 - Whitney Houston - Her songs are mostly poorly-written crap, but she has the most amazing voice of her generation.
721 - Stealer's Wheel - Gerry Rafferty's one-hit wonder band who hit a home-run with "Stuck In The Middle With You".
Monday, January 28, 2008
Top Songs #740-#731
#740 - "Blue Sky" - The Allman Brothers - Eat A Peach - The first of four Allman Brothers songs on the countdown, "Blue Sky" has never been one of their bigger hits, but it's one of my favorites.
#739 - "Crazy" - Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere - The first and only Gnarls song on the list, "Crazy" was pretty much THE song to hear in 2006. It's by far the most unusual and remarkable "it" song of the last decade.
#738 - "Calling It Quits" - Aimee Mann - Bachelor No. 2 - The fifth of eight Aimee Mann songs on the countdown, "Calling It Quits" is one of her most well-known songs and one of her more up-tempo songs.
#737 - "Californication" - The Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication - The first of five RHCP songs on the list, "Californication" was the best song off of the band's most popular album. It also had some of the band's best songwriting.
#736 - "Feel Good Hit Of The Summer" - Queens Of The Stone Age - The third of sixteen Queens songs, "Feel Good" consists entirely of a list of drugs screamed loudly by Josh Homme and Judas Priest front-man Rob Halford.
#735 - "Sheena Is A Punk Rocker" - The Ramones - It's Alive - The second of five Ramones songs on the countdown, "Sheena" has the same beat as a lot of Ramones songs, but this is by far the most popular of the group.
#734 - "The Everlasting Gaze" - The Smashing Pumpkins - Machina / The Machines Of God - The first of seven Pumpkins songs on the list, "Everlasting Gaze" is on my list based almost entirely the breakdown at the end of the song, which was the best Pumpkins moment after Mellon Collie.
#733 - "Tommy Gun" - The Clash - Give 'Em Enough Rope - The third of eighteen Clash songs on the top 1000, "Tommy Gun" is one of the most straight-forward punk songs that the band produced in their early efforts.
#732 - "Backwater" - The Meat Puppets - Backwater - The first and only Meat Puppets song on the countdown, "Backwater" was a surprise hit for the band in the mid-90's after guest-starring on MTV Unplugged in New York with Nirvana.
#731 - "Cut Your Hair" - Pavement - Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain - The first and only Pavement song on the list, "Cut Your Hair" was the band's most radio-friendly song, which is to say that it had a beat and a chorus, though audiences ignored them anyway, as they always did.
#739 - "Crazy" - Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere - The first and only Gnarls song on the list, "Crazy" was pretty much THE song to hear in 2006. It's by far the most unusual and remarkable "it" song of the last decade.
#738 - "Calling It Quits" - Aimee Mann - Bachelor No. 2 - The fifth of eight Aimee Mann songs on the countdown, "Calling It Quits" is one of her most well-known songs and one of her more up-tempo songs.
#737 - "Californication" - The Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication - The first of five RHCP songs on the list, "Californication" was the best song off of the band's most popular album. It also had some of the band's best songwriting.
#736 - "Feel Good Hit Of The Summer" - Queens Of The Stone Age - The third of sixteen Queens songs, "Feel Good" consists entirely of a list of drugs screamed loudly by Josh Homme and Judas Priest front-man Rob Halford.
#735 - "Sheena Is A Punk Rocker" - The Ramones - It's Alive - The second of five Ramones songs on the countdown, "Sheena" has the same beat as a lot of Ramones songs, but this is by far the most popular of the group.
#734 - "The Everlasting Gaze" - The Smashing Pumpkins - Machina / The Machines Of God - The first of seven Pumpkins songs on the list, "Everlasting Gaze" is on my list based almost entirely the breakdown at the end of the song, which was the best Pumpkins moment after Mellon Collie.
#733 - "Tommy Gun" - The Clash - Give 'Em Enough Rope - The third of eighteen Clash songs on the top 1000, "Tommy Gun" is one of the most straight-forward punk songs that the band produced in their early efforts.
#732 - "Backwater" - The Meat Puppets - Backwater - The first and only Meat Puppets song on the countdown, "Backwater" was a surprise hit for the band in the mid-90's after guest-starring on MTV Unplugged in New York with Nirvana.
#731 - "Cut Your Hair" - Pavement - Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain - The first and only Pavement song on the list, "Cut Your Hair" was the band's most radio-friendly song, which is to say that it had a beat and a chorus, though audiences ignored them anyway, as they always did.
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